Saturday, April 18, 2015

The Return

I have taken hiatus on writting in here. I kept the words in my mind and lately I can't contain it anymore. The past few years is a struggle. Moving back to my hometown, adapting to my new working place, settling in my own nest and discovering new environment around me. Its a lot to take on. I used to be open and all out about my feelings...but right then, I prefer to keep it bottled up in my head. I don't think people would care or even interested on read about personal my life. And with this assumptions... many attempts to write a post come out as a total blank.

Tonight, the urge to write is far greater than my self restriction. The need to purge words by words is unnerving...maybe its my overloaded thought wanted to be eased off. I have always been in deep thought. Searching for my own definitions and direction. I am in no man's land. I exist but not live. Days and night passes by unnoticed. Its been like in a dessert, any direction I turn...I can't be sure if there is an oasis. A lot of time I would come across to a fatamorgana.

Only 3 years shy away from THE forty series...think that I have seen a lot but still its not enough for me to carve a path of glorious life. I need a change...radical change. I am so comfortable right now...and need a kick start. Or literally a kick on my butt? My need to redefine everything...is so overwhelming and it scares me. I have to unlearn what I have learned...a painstaking process on its own. 

In one way or another, as we get older..our perspective differs. Our needs, wants and goals are somewhat evolved. When facing a dead wall, there is no way but redirect ourself to a new path. It is what I am going through now. Redirection of my life. Clearing myself from unnecessary junks I have put myself into. I feel the need to document this process so I would remember this moment. Hopefully the future me would appreciate and be grateful for being reminded of this era. 

If you wanted to comment. please leave you blog link...and I will visit you there.

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